Sunday, August 13, 2006

Anchors Aweigh!

Hello! My name is Admiral Paul Hastings in His Majesty’s service. Upon returning from my first voyage, I wish to write down my exploits so that I might inspire the citizens that are in His realm. At 7:45 p.m. on August 13, 2006 AD and in the sixteenth year of my life, I left on a voyage of extreme exploits, daring deeds, astounding accomplishments, frightful fears, and utmost….DANGER!?! I went sailing. But let me assure you that it was no ordinary journey of joy and frivolity. No, this was a perilous undertaking. When I stop to think (I assure you I can) that I paddled 100 feet to and fro from my dock to my neighbors dock, I am almost brought to tears, or maybe it's allergies. But nevertheless, I set out on the good ship “Humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apuaa” (which in the Hawaiian language is the name for a type of sea trout) and was accompanied by the press(my siblings) which photographed the entire event. Upon first entering the waters of the cove I promptly capsized. But I re-launched again, this time with an appropriate helmet, and floundered about for thirty minutes. After docking uneventfully, I gave the press some advice and disembarked. Sadly, my trip was not to be without casualties. A most important member of my crew was gravely injured, nigh unto death. All right, what actually happened was I cut my foot on a mussel, but it still hurt. I look forward to when I may tell you of my exploits again. In His service...

Paul Hastings

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